Saturday, June 2, 2012
My heart got a bad bruised recently, because I lost two years of friendship which I have loved so dearly. I'm still confused and hurt for what had happened. I have lost friends before, because of distance, communication, misunderstanding, envy etc. But this one hurt me much more, maybe because of the reason why the friendship got broken.BETRAYAL. Betrayal of trust. I trusted them so much, respected them as a big sister. Loved them like a family. Often time I think about them, for what can I do to make them happy. Thinking what might they like as pasalubong whenever I travel. Gave them my loyalty because I thought they were real to me.But I was dead wrong. All were just a show, a trap to lure me in and leave me for dead.This thought gave me goosebumps and never fails to make me cry. I was hurt.
They were my role models. A strong women who made it on their own. A survivor of many obstacle so they said. They made me believe that a woman can survive alone in this world. I wanted to be like them....before. Now, I changed my mind. I rather be a cry baby than to be a pretentious person.I'd rather be a follower, than to be a person who created malicious intention for the downfall of others.I'd rather be weak sometimes, than to betray a friend. I rather be simple that to be ambitious with a heart full of greed and envy. Its too late when I finally learned who and what they are. The damaged has been done.
But I know that I will be okay, it still hurt but soon the wound will heal. With God on my side, I know I will be alright. I haven't done anything to hurt them as far as I can remember. I never betray them. What I had shown them was my true self, no pretension. Maybe for a while, they made me feel worthless but NO MORE!. I believe that each and everyone of us is priceless not worthless. That everything happens for a reason. God doesn't give you the people you want , he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person your were meant to be.--Leah